Zombie Apocalypse

By Anthony Vandagriff

Imagine waking up perplexed because although you’re in your room, those typical sounds you’re used to hearing in your house aren’t there.  You get up slowly sensing something is wrong and tip toe to the window.  You peak outside to find a blurred dusty sight.  You walk to your door, slowly begin to open it, and become awe struck as you see right outside because the rest of the house has been destroyed.  Then, all of a sudden, you realize someone or something is coming towards you.  As you catch a glimpse you finally realize what has happened, the zombie apocalypse.


You’ve heard the stories, you’ve seen the movies, and you have probably wondered if any of this could be true.  A movie starring Brad Pitt came out in 2013 called World War Z and there is actually a book out with the same title by Max Brooks.  Max has written another book titled, “The Zombie Survival Guide,” which actually tells a lot about zombies, aside from how to protect yourself from them.  The book can be found in the humor section but I’m not sure if Max is joking in this book, although I got a good laugh out of it.  According to Mr. Brooks and people all around the world, zombies are real.  In his book he says the virus causing humans to turn into zombies is called Solanum.  Unfortunately, no one can find the virus.  It was supposedly “discovered” by Jan Vanderhaven yet in our ecosystem the virus cannot be found.  Compelling evidence right?  The book continued to discuss the changes occurring in an individual when turning into a zombie, which by the way, only happens by direct contact with a zombie, mainly getting bitten.  Once a zombie bites you, after 23 hours filled with fevers, discoloration, numbness, dementia, and a coma, you become a zombie.  On the bright side though, this only affects humans, anything else bitten by a zombie will just die.  So the world will never be taken over by zombie bunnies, what a relief!  Astonishingly, zombies do not live forever; they have an average life span of three to five years.  On top of that, there was a list of zombie sightings.  The last recorded zombie siting was in 2002 on the island St. Thomas.  A zombie washed up on the shore, tried to eat a kid, and got shot in the head; zombie status quo.


With all of this evidence I can confidently tell you zombies do not exist, and they never have.  There is no proof at all!  Even the virus that causes people to turn into zombies was mysteriously discovered yet it cannot be found anywhere at all.  They are just a make believe story that someone cooked up and it stuck around like Frankenstein.  If you want facts, look to the Bible.  There is nothing about zombies or a zombie dooms day.  The Bible paints a totally different picture of last day events and it ends with a thousand years of peace on earth, not a kingdom of zombies.  Don’t bother picking up a book like “World War Z;” drop it and pick up one that’s always right, the Bible.

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