$1500-A-Week Drug Addiction
By Robert Herbst
I was in the sixth grade, at a family reunion in Missouri, when I was first introduced to marijuana. A cousin of mine simply asked, “Do you want to go to the cave and get stoned?” and I accepted. After that, I did it all the time. Several family members, as well as my friends at school, were all smoking weed. Since I was around it so much, it just became a habit. Over the years, it got to the point that I was smoking two to three bags of marijuana per week. I also tried several kinds of pills, alcohol and became terribly addicted to crack cocaine for two solid years. If I went over three or four days, I couldn’t stand it. I snorted cocaine and smoked crack every chance I got. On average, my habit cost me about $1200 – $1500 per week. But, I have been known to shell out as much as $1000, in a single day, on drugs and alcohol. I would spend all the money that I earned to support my addiction. There were a few times that I was short that week and would steal things to sell or borrow money from my family to get my next fix. I did whatever it took, no matter what. The only reason I worked and lived was to get high and party.
I lived this lifestyle so long that I became sick of the way life was treating me. I had a void that I couldn’t fill, and it angered me. I tried to escape the addiction on my own but couldn’t. A lot of my friends went to clinics and different programs trying to quit drugs or dry out, but unfortunately, none of them worked. After seeing that, I knew I was in trouble, because I was the worst one of all. It was all too obvious that I was at the end of my rope. It felt like there was no way out, and I even contemplated suicide on more than one occasion. I have to admit that I actually blamed God for my circumstances and even cursed him. Something in my stomach turned when I did it and I couldn’t shake it. Immediately after that, I asked the Lord to forgive me for what I had said. It was at that point that God started talking to my heart. I wasn’t asking anyone for help and held it all inside, but I was seeking God in the only way I knew how.
One night I stole from my father and hocked the items to get high. I got in a lot of trouble and stayed up all night dealing with it. I lived in Oklahoma at the time and found out that my aunts were coming to visit Texas. So I hitched a ride with them, just to get away. When I got here, a friend that I worked with sensed that I was in trouble and invited me to church. I didn’t know why at the time, but I went. I sat in the back and really didn’t even know what to do. I listened to the singing and the preaching and, after a while, I just stood up and felt the presence of the Lord come over me. I can’t explain it, but up to that point, I had never felt so much love from anything. I stood there and just wept. I simply felt the spirit of God all around. I left the service knowing that something was different. After that, I went two weeks without getting high. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even have the urge. When I told the pastor what had happened, he said, “I believe God has delivered you from drugs and alcohol.” Looking back now I know that God did deliver me instantly from my addiction. I have never been tempted to take any kind of drugs or drink alcohol since.
I have been a faithful member of that church since God performed my miracle. I made a vow to the Lord that, if he would help and bless me, I would dedicate my life to him. He has done that and so much more. I now have a lovely wife and three beautiful daughters. Along with this, I own and operate a successful business.
I know that there are others going through what I did and worse. God knows you and if you want help, you can get it. He delights in helping and healing people, but you have to want it. I don’t know why I turned to God. Something just told me that He was the only way to truly overcome of my addiction. It took a while, from the time that I started seeking to Him, until I had my experience at the church. I just continued to talk to him. Looking back now I see that God received all the glory, because no one but Him could have performed this kind of miracle.
My best advice to a struggling addict would be to lean on the Lord! I went to the church and started believing what the preacher was saying, and it built my faith. It totally changed my life. God can deliver you, no matter what you are going through. He is able! You just have to want help and believe that he will do it! No one can take away the fact that I was changed from a drug addict to living a clean life, in a moment. Thank you, Lord Jesus!
Leave a Reply